The Complete Asylum #1 - Jane White is Sick and Twisted

      

      

     Please note this is a repost, I had previously posted this article on another site.

     In this column i'll be looking at what the now infamous movie studio "The Asylum" has to show us. It's going to be a long road but hopefully there will some good stuff along the way

      This is my first post for "The Complete Asylum" and it may be the last as well. The first movie I checked out is "Jane White is Sick & Twisted". The "plot" has to do with Jane. She spends her entire day watching a Jerry Springer knockoff TV show thinking that he's her dad. One day she decides to go on a road trip to get on the show and meet him when "hilarity" ensues. The reason I'm using so many quotes is because this turd doesn't have any of those elements in it. There is no story. Stupid shit happens, that's about it. It is not funny at all! I did not laugh once. The best this movie got was one light smirk.

      Here are some examples of "hilarious" scenes; Jane dressed up as a transexual and becomes a prostitute for a night. Jane waiting at a bus stop all day. Jane's mom making out with the possibly retarded delivery guy. I could go on but I've blocked part of this from my mind already.

     I don't understand how something like this gets made. It's just a mess. Characters have conversations that are so horrible and painful you'd rather the paint chip on the wall. If you have some sort of morbid curiosity towards seeing this, just watch the trailer. Within those two minutes you will be sufficiently turned off that you will never again think of this movie.

Worst Scene:
Have to go with the desert scene. Jane and her idiot boyfriend Dick go to to the desert so they can get abducted by aliens and then go on the Gerry show. What follows is pointless, stupid and moronic banter. And no aliens show up either!

Lawsuits?:
There's a medium chance of lawsuits. The scene transitions are rips offs of intros and scene transitions of other much better TV shows. While they aren't very long, they are almost identical to the original ones and someone might get pissed off about that.

Rating: 1/10 (It gets 1 point for Phil LaMarr's smirk inducing scene)