Plot
(from imdb.com)
When
American soldiers inadvertently steal Attila the Hun's secret riches, the wrath
of the barbarian is awakened; the mummified warrior will stop at nothing to
kill the intruders.
Review
I feel like the above
plot description is very misleading. It’s more like they awake Attila the Hun’s
son and he starts killing soldiers who are shooting at him. Minor gripe but to
get back to the movie, for the Asylum, this one isn’t that bad. The main
character, sorry can’t remember his name not that it matters, is a badass.
Although he’s also batshit crazy and sees constant vision of dead people. The
general in charge also could not give a fuck about anything other then mission,
which somehow makes him the most relatable character in the movie. To the
Asylum’s credit, they do try to make each member of the team that goes after
Attila somewhat unique. There’s the driver that loses his keys, kung fu Asian
guy, the guy who doesn’t speak, a chick who can tell your personality by the
gum you take, etc. I didn’t say it was a great attempt, but they tried. The
acting is generally terrible, but that was expected.
As for the main villain, I’ll just call him Attila for
simplicity’s sake, it’s weird to say good or bad about him. For one, he’s just
a big guy with a terrible melty face mask. He is invulnerable to bullets, so he
can kill anyone whenever he wishes. Which made me wonder, why does he keep
running away? He’s invulnerable, he could have killed the entire team right
away and then boom, movie over. The kills for the most part are weak. Attila
usually grabs someone or lightly taps then, the camera cuts, then they are dead
with a hole in their chest or blood coming out of their mouth. There were a
couple of deaths that were half decent but most were terrible.
It’s sad to say, but Attila is one of the better Asylum
movies I’ve watched so far. I was able to finish it in one viewing, something I’m
rarely able to do, and it interested enough that I only looked at my phone a
couple of times. If you’re one of the rare people who can stomach these movies,
go ahead and try this one out.
Worst Scene
Near the end of the movie, the general reveals his plan to
use the Staff of Moses, which gives Attila his power, to cure his cancer. He
drinks blood from it, his head bursts into flames like he’s Ghost Rider, and
then he comes back as Attila himself. However, the real Attila looks super
lame. Imagine a shitty looking Shao Khan. He’s supposed to be the intimidating
last boss, but he sucks. It’s a look that is hard to pull off on a real person,
it always looks stupid.
Lawsuit Potential?
I don’t believe the Asylum has anything to worry about on
this one. It does not appear to be directly ripping off any famous movie at the
time, so unless the ancestors of Attila the Hun want to sue for defamation they
are safe on this one.
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